21 Jokes So Clever You Probably Won’t Understand Them

Because jokes are always funnier when only YOU can understand them, right? Inspired by and culled from this thread.

1. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs…

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs...

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drchaos.com / Via reddit.com

…because they always take things literally.

2. Who is this Rorschach guy?

Who is this Rorschach guy?

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reddit.com / Via en.wikipedia.org

And why does he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?

3. A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.

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upload.wikimedia.org / Via reddit.com

“You mean a martini?” the bartender asks. The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!”

4. René Descartes walks into a bar. Bartender asks if he wants anything.

René Descartes walks into a bar. Bartender asks if he wants anything.

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René says, “I think not,” then disappears.

5. Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar…

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar...

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themetapicture.com / Via reddit.com

…followed by Batman.

6. Yo momma’s so classless…

Yo momma's so classless...

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hitemwheretheyaint.com / Via reddit.com

…she could be a Marxist utopia.

7. Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

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i2.cdnds.net / Via reddit.com

He’s 0K now.

8. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on.

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e-health101.com / Via reddit.com

After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, “You fellas ought to know your limits.”

9. Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings…

Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings...

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upload.wikimedia.org / Via Irwin Barker

Pavlov gasps, “Oh shit, I forgot to feed the dogs.”

10. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

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upload.wikimedia.org / Via reddit.com

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

11. Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Do all of you want a drink?”

Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Do all of you want a drink?"

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craftypint.com / Via reddit.com

The first logician says, “I don’t know.”The second logician says, “I don’t know.”The third logician says, “Yes!”

12. How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

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upload.wikimedia.org / Via reddit.com

Ask them to pronounce “unionized.”

13. What’s the difference between an etymologist and an entomologist?

What's the difference between an etymologist and an entomologist?

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An etymologist knows the difference.

14. The other day my friend was telling me that I didn’t understand what irony meant.

The other day my friend was telling me that I didn't understand what irony meant.

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images4.fanpop.com / Via reddit.com

Which is ironic, because we were standing at a bus stop.

15. There are two types of people in this world:

There are two types of people in this world:

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upload.wikimedia.org

Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

16. An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative.

An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative.

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upload.wikimedia.org / Via reddit.com

But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative.”

A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

17. A photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage.

A photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage.

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The photon replies, “No, I’m traveling light.”

18. Your momma is so mean…

Your momma is so mean...

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movieclips.com / Via reddit.com

…she has no standard deviation.

19. I’m thinking about selling my theremin…

I'm thinking about selling my theremin...

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theremin.info / Via reddit.com

…I haven’t touched it in years.

20. What does the “B” in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for?

What does the "B" in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for?

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upload.wikimedia.org / Via reddit.com

Benoit B. Mandelbrot.

21. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Read more here!

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/daves4/can-you-understand-these-knee-slappers

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